Every Divorce Has Its Sea Monsters
Why delays, detours, and unexpected financial issues can make the divorce process feel much longer than expected
With a new adaptation of The Odyssey coming to theaters this summer, people will once again be reminded of one of the oldest stories ever told, a journey that took far longer than anyone expected. That part may feel familiar to anyone who has been through a divorce. Most people begin the process thinking it will follow a relatively straightforward path. Gather documents. Reach an agreement. Sign paperwork. Move on.
Then real life gets involved.
A retirement account needs to be valued. A business appraisal takes longer than expected. Someone changes their position on the house. Financial documents are incomplete. A court hearing gets rescheduled because the calendar is full. Before long, a process that was supposed to take months begins stretching into a year, or longer. If divorce has its own version of sea monsters, they're often the things no one anticipated at the beginning of the journey: delays, missing information, valuation disputes, and decisions that take longer than expected. The reality is that divorce often takes longer than people expect. Not because anyone planned it that way, but because financial lives are complicated. Families are complicated. And court systems are busy.
The longer a divorce continues, the more opportunities there are for additional conflict, increased legal fees, and simple exhaustion. People can spend months arguing over issues they feel strongly about, only to discover later that the cost of the fight exceeded the value of what they were fighting about.
Time has a cost.
Money has a cost.
Stress has a cost.
One of the most overlooked parts of divorce financial planning is recognizing that every delay affects all three. That doesn't mean people should rush important decisions. The goal isn't speed for the sake of speed. The goal is finding ways to move through the process efficiently while still making thoughtful decisions. One of the best ways to do that is preparation. The more organized your financial information is at the beginning of the process, the fewer surprises tend to surface later. A complete marital balance sheet, organized account statements, retirement account information, tax returns, and documentation of assets and debts can eliminate weeks, or sometimes months, of unnecessary back-and-forth.
Another way to reduce delays is to work with professionals who focus on problem-solving instead of conflict. Attorneys, mediators, Certified Divorce Financial Analysts®, and other professionals can often identify issues early and help create a path forward before positions become entrenched.
One option that is often overlooked is arbitration. Arbitration addresses one of the biggest challenges in divorce: waiting.
When a case goes before a judge, you're working within the court's schedule. Judges have limited time, crowded dockets, and countless cases competing for attention. Even highly qualified judges may only have a small window to understand the details of your financial situation before making decisions.
Arbitration works differently. The parties select the decision-maker. That person has the opportunity to spend more time understanding the facts, the finances, and the unique circumstances of the case. The process is generally more flexible, more private, and often significantly faster than waiting for available court dates.
Arbitration does typically involve additional upfront costs. However, focusing only on the upfront expense can miss the bigger picture. When a divorce drags on for months or years, the financial and emotional costs continue to accumulate. Additional attorney fees, additional expert fees, missed opportunities, and ongoing uncertainty all have a cost.
For some families, investing in a more efficient process can ultimately cost less than prolonged conflict and repeated delays. No process eliminates every obstacle. There will still be difficult conversations. There will still be decisions that require careful analysis. There may still be unexpected turns along the way. But there are ways to avoid wandering in circles. That's why financial preparation matters. It's why assembling the right professional team matters. And it's why understanding all available dispute-resolution options—including arbitration—can make a meaningful difference.
In The Odyssey, the journey home took ten years.
Most divorces won't take that long.
But if you've ever felt like your case has been delayed by one more document request, one more hearing date, or one more unresolved issue, you understand the feeling. No one hands you a map for divorce. The good news is that there are tools, professionals, and strategies that can help make the journey shorter, and a lot less expensive, than it might otherwise be.
