College Is Coming—Is Your Divorce Agreement Ready?

If you have a child who's five years old, college probably feels a long way off. If your child is sixteen, it suddenly feels like it's tomorrow.

One of the biggest surprises for many divorced parents is how quickly those years disappear. One day you're discussing who pays for soccer cleats. The next you're trying to figure out FAFSA forms, 529 plans, dorm deposits, tuition bills, and whether your child should live on campus. The problem is that many divorce agreements don't say much about college. Some are very specific. Others simply say the parents will discuss it when the time comes. Some don't mention college at all.

Unfortunately, "we'll figure it out later" works a lot better in theory than it does in practice.

By the time senior year arrives, emotions are already running high. Your child is excited about the future. Acceptance letters start arriving. Deadlines appear. Decisions need to be made quickly. That isn't the best time to begin a financial conversation with your ex that could have started years earlier.

College planning in a divorce is about expectations. Do both parents expect to contribute? If so, how much? Many parents assume they'll simply work it out when the time comes. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. I've seen parents who agreed on almost everything during the divorce struggle years later because they never discussed college. Financial circumstances changed. Priorities changed. New families entered the picture. What seemed like an easy conversation years earlier became much more complicated.

Another reason to start planning early is financial aid. Many divorced parents are surprised to learn that family structure, household income, and financial aid rules can all affect what a student may qualify for. Those rules vary depending on the school and the type of aid being sought, and they continue to evolve. Waiting until your child is filling out college applications isn't the time to discover that your assumptions were wrong. Understanding how your family's financial situation may affect scholarships and financial aid gives you the opportunity to plan ahead, set realistic expectations, and have informed conversations with your child long before acceptance letters arrive.

One of the most expensive phrases in divorce is, "We'll figure it out later." College planning is a perfect example. The earlier parents begin talking about expectations, savings, financial aid, and how costs will be shared, the more options they usually have. By the time tuition bills arrive, many of those options have already passed.

This is another area where a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® can add significant value. A CDFA® can help parents model different scenarios based on their financial circumstances and long-term goals. What happens if each parent contributes a certain amount each year? How would different college choices affect retirement planning? What impact could financial aid have? Would increasing savings now reduce borrowing later? Looking at those questions years before tuition is due often leads to better decisions. More importantly, it helps parents replace assumptions with a plan. A plan you can memorialize in your divorce settlement.